March 20 – the official first day of spring. Visions of flowers blooming, tender leaves unfolding, bees buried in dandelions and winter coats stored away until next November. The reality for many of us, though, is that we are far from these “visions.” There is still snow on frozen ground and temperatures that do not entice plants to come out of hiding.
But in early January, I thought I was having a “spring moment.” With no snow, mild temperatures and clear skies, there was a sense of early spring in the air. Walking by the garden I care for, there was a purple primrose in full bloom! Narcissus bulbs planted in November were poking up out of the dark earth. Putting a thin piece of wood over the top of them, I hoped to encourage them to hold tight – to wait for April before their ascent towards the light.
This experience – just for a moment, turned my mind to thoughts of spring. My birth time of year. Flowers blooming in just about every shade in a crayon box. Thoughts of seeing perennial “friends” popping up in the gardens. So many scents and textures. Planning bouquets as I walk through the Ashram – filling with a sense of devotion and desire to offer. Years of memories, learning which flowers bloom in which month in each garden. Joy in the abundance of so much beauty. I also had visions of returning from the local nursery with armloads of annuals of all colours and shapes to draw the bees and butterflies.
But I was getting ahead of myself. . .
Patience & the Miracle of Seeds
Eventually in January, the snow did arrive and the primrose and bulbs were buried. But that single glance at the unseasonable garden growth in January has posed a question: What happens in my life when the conditions for change seem to be saying “now” but an insistent voice is saying “not yet”? How can I counter the impulse to impatiently move ahead (not so easy for someone born in a month where so much life is eager to push right through the earth into the Light!).
The quick answer that comes is Patience. But how to live that quality in the eagerness to ‘get moving’? Sitting still with balanced breath slows down my mind and body. Eventually the rhythmic inhale and exhale creates quiet and space allowing me to ask: What is behind this urge? What is the attachment to ‘push ahead’? Once this becomes clear, “intuitive listening” that Swami Radha speaks of in the 2nd chakra becomes possible. How could waiting be right action?
Every February I willingly step into a time of waiting – an annual ritual of planting flower seeds in the greenhouse. The trays are prepared with a special soil mix. I open a package of seeds and pour some in my hand. And every year for a moment, time seems to stand still as I marvel. How is it possible that a tiny seed can hold so much intelligence – knowing when conditions are just right for the first root to push through the seed casing and begin to explore and feed in the soil? And my imagination can then carry me to summer when pots are filled with eye-catching brilliant coloured blossoms of zinnias, asters, marigolds and snapdragons.
What are those seeds in all of us that at first seemed impossibly tiny (or not even seen at all at the start), and yet with awareness and the willingness to keep stepping forward, they blossom. Flowers of clarity, courage, strength, gratitude. Swami Radhananda assures us: “Within each person is the seed of Divine potential. . .” (Devi of Speech)
Taking Root
The reality is that not all seeds sprout (no matter what the seed package says). As I make weekly visits to the greenhouse to check on progress, it is clear that some seeds are not going to push through the soil. Did they miss getting watered? Maybe they didn’t get enough sun? But if each seed had sprouted, would I have been able to transplant and care for them all? Likely not.
This is true for me too. Not all my thoughts, intentions and efforts take root. In reflecting, I can see that perhaps my motivation was not clear or that it just wasn’t the right time or there were steps missing or I was just trying to do too much at one time. As I question and explore, I continue to ask myself: What can I learn?
In early spring when I stand in front of racks of packages of flower seeds for sale, a part of me would like one of each! All that variety; all that beauty. Imagine! And then I bring myself back to the reality of space and the amount of time and energy that is actually available for gardening. This reality check grounds me and helps me narrow down my choices based on clarity rather than desire.
We all have seeds of intentions or dreams or needs. Make a list of some you are aware of in your life. Then take time to sit still, balance breath and reflect: What is a seed I want to plant and nurture in my mind and in my heart? As the gardener, how will I care for it so that the intelligence and beauty it holds can bloom? And when it does, how will I show gratitude for the gift?
By Swami Samayananda